The question is – do you really need fake friends? Wouldn’t you want to keep these selfish and waste-of-time people away from your life?

They say your true friends are the honest ones. Those who are true to you and who are happy when you’re happy. Yet there are those of us who realize how true we’ve been to our friends who’ve only meant to use us.

  1. The sneaky snake

These sneaky and subtle hissers are the ones you need to play chess with but you might lose, so run while you still can. They want to be with you until they are done being amazed by your existence. They seek information about your life for their own benefit. In return they’ll reveal only a bit about themselves to make you think that they’re genuinely interested in your friendship. These types of friends are always alert, ready to study your every move – what you do, what you eat, why you eat what you eat, who are your  friends, what are your achievements, what did you do to succeed, where you studied, what you studied and then use that information for progressing further in their lives. There’s nothing wrong in that now, is there?

They cunningly sneak their way into your life because you’ve somehow impressed these opportunists with your style of living. In a way, they appreciate you more than you could ever appreciate yourself.

They’ll sweet talk you into being their friend. You might almost feel blessed to have them and then Bam – you’ve opened your heart to a snake. Once they’ve bit you, they’ll leave. Once they’ve got all they want, they won’t even return your calls and once they’re done with you, all they’ll leave in your life is the dark side of friendship – poison. Recognize these snakes and then stay away. There’s no need to answer all their questions about you. Just lie about being busy and leave!


  1. The Jealous Juggler

These are the kind you need to tread with carefully. This friend juggles with many issues in their head, which makes them possessive about something or someone they only want to keep to themselves. Their insecurities stem from not having enough of everything. Everything has to favour them and everyone has to want to be like them, which is mostly not the case. Hence, the hostility in their own minds.


They may become your BFF but they’re high maintenance when it comes to separation anxiety. Let us make more sense, they’re needy! If you’re seen with another friend, don’t be surprised to find yourself in the spot with the jealous juggler. You’ll be explaining yourself until you realize that you have a jealous friend. That’s a good thing because then you’ll know where you want to go from there.

It isn’t hard to spot such friends but if it does get harder to recognize that you have a jealous friend then you need to be afraid. This only means that your jealous friend is well able to hide their creepier side. Mysterious things like misunderstandings with other friends for reasons unknown to you may happen. You may find yourself trapped in a friendship and friendship shouldn’t feel that way.

So you should have a long talk with your friend and tell them how much they mean to you. If your friend continues to be the jealous juggler, you’ll have to decide based on the circumstances about whether you still want to carry on being the understanding and mature one.


  1. The User-Friendly Pain in the Butt

You like making friends? That’s a good thing. You like sharing stuff with your friends? That’s also a good thing. Here’s a news flash – some people aren’t your friends, some of them just like the money you can spend on them or your car they can hop into when they need a ride to work or the make-up they need when they’re too lazy to open their cupboards or even when they need to gossip about another friend who refused to lend their expensive clothes.

The good thing about these kinds of user-friends is there comes a time when you can kick them where it hurts the most – their faces! You can be completely honest with the user-friendly friends because from time to time in their lives, they need doses of truth splashed into their faces. They’ll cry, they’ll kick and scream; they’ll even get some people on their side to pretend to be the victim you’ve made of them but that’s ok. You don’t need to explain yourself for such pain-in-the-butts. They’re friendly only to use you.

I wouldn’t recommend you run away from such people, instead kick them and kick them hard. They need that bump on the road.

Want to know the next 3 types of fake friends…. Give us an hour or so, it’s coming up!